( Hermafrodite advices, kaksineuvoisuusohje ) Male or female better

Kommentteja translakiin, Comments to transgender law

 Quite in tge beginning of next month, say news, in Finland there will come to effect a new law which says that adults may choose by making an applucation whether they want to be officially male or female, regardless of their biological gender. I do not know what it will cause kn the society. In my experience it is not so advantageous to be male or female. There are some supposed roles but no support for them if you do not create it yourself. Likewise of shelter. If you suppose that the opposite sex has some rights, those rights typically depend on the individual or the type of person. If you noticed someone having extra righrs it typically was someone you considered sexually attractive, or who was doing something he/she supposed that you value, or was the favourite of those who ought to have intervdned. If you think of the role of men or women suiting you, that too, like many professions, is kn practice reserved for certain type of persons, certain ways of doing and values, and not for all who value such life in some form. 

28th of March 2023   In the news there was somethibg about androgyne clothes, but it did not seem to work out. I was taught as a child that all individuals have both manly and womanly characteristics and that the differencies between individuals are geeater than between the sexes. So one ought not choose clothes based on manlikedness or womanlikedness but instead choose clothes that fit one's values and character, maybe one's dreams too, and likewise of chores, professions, hobbies etc. 

" Muttei sukupuolenvaihdos välejä lähennä tai setvi. Lapsuus on ohitse ja uutena erilaisena ihmisenä on eri ihmiset ihmissuhteina eikä jokin julistus vanhoille sosiaalisille suhteille vaan ne vain etääntyvät, vaikka toki uudesta sukupuolesta pitäisi tiedottaa vanhoja ihmissuhteita niin tilannekuva menee enemmän oikein ja kukin osaa sopeutua paremmin. "

My old blog workandfreetime.blogspot.com ought to have in the earliest post a link to my book which also has a text about sexuality and learning. It is about learning skills kn an ordinary way, not about changing gender. 

" Onkohan translain vuoksi nyt vaikutteita transsukupuolisilta, kun on jotenkin hutera osaamaton olo kuin eivät valinnat menisi ihan oikein. Nyt kun asiaa mietin, niin sukupuolen vaihtaminen vakavissaan ei vaikuta oikein viisaalta teolta, sillä ei niin keknotekoinen edesottamus asioita ratko, mutta jos joku haluaa toisen sukupuolen todellisia etuja vakavissaan, esim vannoutunut pasifisti välttää armeijan, niin ehkä tuo lokeron vaihtaminen heille sopii, muttei se paranna tunne-elämän ym solmuja kuin äiti luonto, vaan on pikemminkin ihan hukassa siinä uskomuksessaan. Vaatteista kirjoitin, että ne putäisi valita kaavamaisista sukupuolirooleista riippumatta arvojensa, luobteenlaatunsa ja haaveidensa mukaan, ja niin myös valita askareet, ammatit ja harrastukset. "

Syy, miksi jotkut haluavat vaihtaa sukupuolta, on kai kiinnostus tekemisiin ja elämänalueisiin sekä sosiaalisuuden tyyppiin, jotka luokittuvat vahvasti toisen sukupuolen omaksi alueeksi, esim pehmeeseen tyyliin sosiaalisissa suhteissa, kodin laittamiseen ja kotielämään sekä vaatteisiin ym naismalliseen, tai kovaan karsivaan tyyliin, kouluun ja insinöörialoihin, ja armeijaan. Muttei tuo kai sukupuolesta ole kiinni vaan pukeutumisesta, tavanomaisuudesta ja riittävän johdonmukaisesta samoin harrastuneisuudesta, yhteiskunnassa elämisen vaatimusten kunnioittamisesta ja seuran vaihtamisesta samoista elämänalueista harrastuneisiin. Vaatteiden valitsemisessa olisi kai olennaista valita hyvät ko tekemisiin tavallisen tervehenkisen meinkngin kirjosta esim että nää on kokin tyyliä ja nää on hyvät vapaa-akkaa ja tää juhlaan, ja naismallisuus tulisi siinä sitten siivellä elämään, ja vastaavasti vaatteista, että nää ei oo järjettömän naismalliset vaan näissä on hyvä puuhata tai että näissä on tyyliä ja ihan osaavaisiakin voi mun tapaan olla nejoilla on tällasia vaatteita, ja siitä henkilökohtaisten tyyli- ja symboliikkavslintojen siivellä tulisi karsivuutt ( sininen, suorat mallit tms ) a, järkevyyttä ym. 

3rd of March 2023   If you would like to learn skills for happy somewhat sheltered life, read my long text Skills of Christmas gnomes learntalents.blogspot.com .

This explains what women and men are like : Men often use tge perspectives of work, school and education. In additiln they have gone to ghe military service and try to follow what was considered important there. They often connect their work to that, thinking that doing work in non-personal somewhat machine like ways is what makes the society work out at least somewhat after and during war even if there are enemies deciding about thibgs. The traditional role of women is to provide their working men basic support, rest and refreshment, and to provide good possibilities for children to grow up and to serve as a force which makes life more flourishing and healthily happy in the society and in the world. Civiluced wisdom is widely thought to make these two courses in lufe work out better in what comes to the workings of the society and the quality of life, happiness. 

A man appearing to say that ghis is big and fine and having a large chest and wide movements like lifting things from a shopping bag for kids to see, isn't saying how fine it is to be a man, it is instead saying would you like to have this kind of family like lufe with me. 

Jos nainen haluaa vaihtaa mieheksi, niin malleina ei saa käyttää vastakkaista ääripäätä eli sukupuoleensa nähden keskivertoa enemmän naismallista haluavia, ei siis esim transuilevien pukeutumista tai heille annettuja ohjeita elämän naismallistamisessa. Miesten vaatteet viestivät, että henkilö on miestyyppinen eikä esim rintakeskeisen muita elämäntaidoissa vaalivainen tai hoikan herkkäliikkeinen ja hienovarainen tai pyöreämuotoisen tunneviisas. Eli jos haluaa miesten töitä niin miesmallinen yleisvaikutelma vaatteissa ko ammatin miesten tapaisesti. Vastaavasti värit joko omia vanhoja tuttujasi tai ko ammatin naisten tai miesten tavallisen työpukeutumisen tai ko ammatin miedten vaatteiden värien tapaiset muttei kai ihan samat jolkeivät ole harmaita tms. 

Pujeutumista ei saa vaihtaa naismallisemmaksi skksi, että on vaihtanut tai vaihtamassa mieheksi. Sen sijaan käytetään miesmäisen vaikutelman antavaa pukeutumista tekemisen ja sen hengen mukaisdsti, miesten liikkumavaran tienoilla, esim vapaa-aikamaista tai ammattiin tykästyneen pukeutumista. Mutta on niin siis kommunikoitava oman tekemisensä piirteitä eikä jotain toisten naisten naismaisuutta. Moni mies esim on sosiaalinen eikä sosiaalisuuden paljous tarkoita mekkoa tms. Jos haluat päihittää muut naiset naisellisessa viehätysvoimassa, nikn eikö sklloin tavoitteenasi ole treffit eikä mieheksi vaihtaminen. Jos haluat tutustua komeaan mieheen ja saada sitä komeutta itsellesikin, niin seurustelusuhteen myötä sellaisia tilaisuuksia komeat miehet yleensä tarjoavat, ja siinä voi sukellus toisen näkökulmaan ja elämäntapaan llla niin suuri kukn olisi jonkin aikaa miehenä elänyt, vakkka on perheen perustamiseen liittyvästä tutustumisesta kysymys, ihastumisesta. Jos esim kurssin vetäjä on komea, niin useimmiten kyse on siitä, että tosissasi haluaisit tuon harrastuksen tai ammatin vaikkapa vuodeksi tai pariksi, kenties pidempäänkin. Jollei juuri tuo harrastus tunnu sinulle oikealta, niin oletko tsekannut tervejärkisesti muut samansuuntaisia elämän puolia treenaavat lajit, esim toiset taistelulajit, urheilulajit ylipäätään, entä muut liikuntamuodot tekemisineen. Olisiko tuo mies sinulle sopiva seurustelukumppani? Olisiko hyvä vaihtoehto sekä seurustelu että jpkin harrastus? 

Translain voimassaolon ekasta ivästä on tjllut mieleen, että olettavatko monet ihmiset, että on vain kaksi lokeroa: nais ja mieslokero. Oikeastihan ihmisiä on monenlaisia, monissa suhteissa omanlaisiaan, sekä naiset erilaisia että miehet. 

Kaksineuvoisuus :

Periaatteessa mieli ja keho liittyvät yhteen, niin että teoriassa, muttei kai käytännössä, voisi joku vaihtaa myös fyysistä sukupuoltaan. Silloin peniksen kasvattaminen liittyisi kai lähes jatkuvaan mielenvireeseen, että fundeeraa, että pitäskö tollasta ryhtyä tekemään. Jostain kuulemani näkemyksen mukaan lapsesta tulee poika, jos on jokin tehtävä, johon lasta halutaan, ja tyttö, jos on suotuisammat elämänolosuhteet ja tilaa elämänviisaudelle. Tyttö kai tuumi, et mä en kyl tollasta tekis, kun must mun oma elämänviisaus on ihan hyvä, parempi, ja tuumii et mitenköhän mä täss. 

Bodily sexual ambivalence, i.e. hermafrodite 

4th of April 2023   I translate the above :   In principle mind and body are intertwined, so in theory, but propably not in practice, someone could change also one's physical body from female to male or vice versa. Then growing a penis would connect with an almost conyinuous state of mind&of feelings, in which one ponders would one ought to start doing that kind of chores. According to a view I heard from somewhere, the child becomes a boy, if there is some task to which the child is wanted, and a girl if the living conditions are more favorable and there is room for wisdom of life. I guess that a girl thinks  "I would not do such, since I think that my own wisdom of lufe is good, better." and thinks "How can I live in this situation?" 

5.4.2023   Naiseksi ja mieheksi vaihtaminen ovat erilaisia asioita ja siksi niille pitäisi olla eri nimitykset. Ne voisivat olla transu ja mieheksi vaihtava. Mies, joka haluaa olla transu, haluaa yleensä kevennystä liian rankkaan työelämään tms, tai sitten hän on naisten ammatissa ja haluaa näyttää oppimiaan naisten taitoja. Mieheksi haluava taas on usein kiinnostunut miesten työelämästä ja armeijasta, ja ne ovat erihenkisiä kukn nuo työn raskautta keventää haluavien jutut, suorastaan vastakkaiseen suuntaan meneviä. Tarttisko noille kahdelle transutyypillekin eri nimitykset? Pukeutumisessa taitava voisi llla transu ja se toinen lomaa, ammatinvaihtoa, vapautta, kivoja harrastuksia ja vapaamielisempää elämää hakeva vaikka lomailuhenkinen mies, tai harrastusvaihtdelle menossa oleva. 

6th of April 2023 (Easter Thursday)   Changing from woman to man or from man to woman connects with states of mind connected with forming a family : taking care of chores as if a man of the family or group, skilled and responsible, and being with wisdom of lufe thst also cultivates and quarantees good living conditiobs for a child to grow up in. One can learn wisdom of life for example from books and likings. 

(18.4.2023   This is not a personal subject for me. I am female and have always been. But my step mother like very dominant mom used to say that in her opinion she would have been better fitted to be a man, and would have right away changed her gender to a man if it would have been possible without surgery, without giving up the possibility to get children. But I haven't heard what she thinks of the new transgender law. I have made hundreds of advices or guesses of how to cure illnesses, see parantamisesta.blogspot.com and curingguesses.blogspot.com , and that is how i came to figure out this too when the transgender law was so puzzling in the news. )

1.7.2023   Parantamisaiheisessa blogissani on myös ihmeparannusohjeita, jotka vammaisia ovat ilahduttaneet. Parantamisesta.blogspot.com Teksti on vaikea käännettävä, joten sanakirjamainen käännös on paras, ( lue etenkin hakemistoja ), ja sen kai tarjoaa yli sadalle kielelle Google translation. 

1.10.2023    Both cultivating wisdom of life and caring for needed tasks are needed by all, by the society, just the emphazies in what is mostly one's primary task, differ. Action needs wisdom of life from the doer, and wisdom of lufe needs good healthy ways of living and civiliced wisdom with life in practice following the wisdom. 

3.12.2023   If a woman wants to change to a man, it does not fit together with men wanting to change to women. A male transvestite often either tests one's women's skills that have been learned in a female profession or as a part of an all female social envirpnment, and one wants to know if there is any advantage for men in having such skills, or does one get a family that way, or does one get slme other profession that requires high skills in female kinds of things. Or then a man is exhausted from living in a too manly envuronment, for example in engineering without much contact with the ways and values of other professions and the civiliced values learned in school. So the man seeks for relief to too tough working lufe by trying women's things, maybe especially more leisurely clothes, cooking, new social spheres, women's skills etc. 

If a woman wants to change to a man, she typically has had lots of room for female thibgs but longs for milutary kibd of strenghts, official position and men's wisdom of life. She typically tries men's things in short spurts and flees then back to a womanly role, without regard for what is defending the country and what just a crime, and without thinking what her ways would cause if followed in working lufe and in army, where endurancy and long term sustainability of the society is important to take care of instead of single innovations while some other type of people i.e. men take care of running the society and the world well in the long run, wisely while looking at the whole from the point of view of what is good for life. 

So a child ought to have her/his name according to whether she/he is a boy or a girl, and not according to adults who have started their lives in the opposite gender. 

Gnome like life in the modern world

See http://learntalents.blogspot.com/2018/09/gnomes-or-more-likelily-doing-things-in.html

17th of May 2020   I read a book called Year of the Gnome. I wrote a short comment about it, thinking that people somehow lose their own wisdom about gnome like life when reading a book about gnomes. As a subject gnomes seemed to break, which I guessed to be a consequence of there being a large demnand in the world for friendly tale figures.  So I translated the text to English and got stuck in the subject but in English especially.
Now there are three parts of the text, together some hundred screenfulls. It is advives in learning skills and talents plus lots of links which too are often worth reading.I termed it Tale like things in everyday life.
But writing the text ended at Mother's Day, so I guess that the text can also teach something about what kinds of skills women and girls often have, even though these are just my own - or were before I wrote about them to the internet.

* * *

14th of August 2023   My books "Skills Of Christmas Gnomes" 1.-7. are now available also as ebooks at www.amazon.com/author/khtervola .

6th of April 2024    You might be interested in reading the back cover texts of my books of the Christmas gnome/elf skills series, by clicking the headers at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BLLS8BWC?binding=kindle_edition&ref_=ast_author_bsi

Something about clothes

For men who follow rigid ways, looking even slightly woman like can cause problems, even though all people are something between traditional women and men, a wide spectrum. But if one would dress so as to not to care about such more than one oneself does, there would be much less problems of such. For practically or academically inclined a signel of not caring so much about rigid ways might be for example (a short distance) rolled sleeves of trousers of quite practicak style. And if the shirt would be fine in your opinion, kind of free time party like, would it tell your personal inclinations in a positive light.

Handiworks

I came to translate some of my knitting tips to English http://learntalents.blogspot.fi/2017/10/knitting-tips.html
My impression is that many men like knitting but on the other hand knitting makes one much more stupid. Here you can lean it though.

You can learn to sew clothes (with a sewing machine and enough sewing skills) without formulae, just according to your likings, with the advices of my text http://tunteetjatekemisentapa.blogspot.fi/2016/03/vaatteiden-ompelemisesta-ilman-kaavoja.html please scroll down the page to find the English translation there.

Finding a comfortable gender role

From my text about healthy natural ways of living http://finnishskills.blogspot.fi/2015/11/healthy-ways-of-living.html

"173. If one tries to live according to a more sexual reputation than what one feels right and natural for oneself, one easily feels agitated and tired since the relationships and life do not work out as well as they should. So if one wants to be more sexual with roughly all of the opposite sex to get social contacts work out well, the sex roles are good for that, but one should not take whatever role or the most recommended role but instead find the one that is most natural for oneself, gives best life, is something that you easily fall into on free time, something from which you find good life and nice things to do that just you happent olike, so that you are active and in a good mood with a good spirit and so in associating with people momentarily or going to shops and such, maybe one third of the opposite sex makes you think "Oh a woman" or "Oh a man" somehow handsomely, charmingly, pleasantly and you get well along.
On the other hand if you search for how you yourself would be very sexual and charming, then living Life with a big L, while searching for better life according to the rule "Live and let others live" (see this blog's text about it and it's link), maybe brings such in those circles which you like, to which you want to anchor your life. #

Men's role and women's role - Or?

Men often assume that women have some things easier than men and that that depends on women having women's role. On the other hand men assume that men ought to have men's role and so men all the time take care of following men's wole.
But that is not so. The womne who look like having women's role, have all the time taken care of many things that the men do not take care of. So what the men suppose to be women's role is those cultivated things, and those haven't been cultivated just a little and only lately, but for years like one's dream job's skills and the like. One can learn skills by practising. Some skills are very difficult and demand other skills as support and an eager interest in the subject itself instead of seeking for social position or other benefits from practising it. Womanly skills are often such.
On the other hand men keep to the men's role. But that is not men's role. That is instead being social with and sticking to the ways, values and ways of thinking of some group of men, of some people who live in a certain way, so it is wanting to belong to a group and taking always or often care of the groups characteristical things even when it means neglecting other things.

But like with different professions, women do not have always all men's skills even if they appear to have some more advanced quality or skill. Like with often advanced skills, some act them or copy them without proper idea or without proper quality in everything and try to assume the role of the most skilled ones without being moral and skilled enough. 

Of women and men getting along

I think that the usua problem (in Finland) in women and men not getting along is that men tend to copy from other men ways of being with women and typically they copy from some man who is at least man like and and has done lots on women's things in man like ways. But different things ought to do in different ways. That is why different professions demand different talents and skills. Often those who do women's things in surely man like ways, which often is school like, are the men who are most distant from women's ways and values, since others would copy at least somewhat women like style, kind of fitting to the teasks at hand and to the atmosphere of doing such thi
The ways of doing women's thing are not found among those who do them most but among those who most like them, who most naturaly find it from themselves to do such. So they would correspond to learning new skills and talents on one's free time, like in my Finnish blog http://nopeaoppisuus.blogspot.fi in the beginning of the blog. And women like characteristics would come from the understanding of the value of noticing and taking into account atmospheres and feelings, see my Finnish blog http://pikakoulu.blogspot.fi , and enjoying for a change to get a chance to do also such, kind of to widen one's repertuaire of skills in use. Like maybe a man wearing a red shirt to get room for feelings and free time fun, would correspond to a woman wearing a non-worklike non-formal skirt.
What then would be the sides of men best closest to women? I guess that liking talking and being social, liking goiung to visit friends and having a cup of coffee with bread or the like. Liking children, time for everyday chores, music in the radio, having a pause for some repair work, talking with people of different areas of life, liking highlights, enjoying weathers, maybe travelling. Or? Kind of what men feel natural and nice but kind of in atmosphere and in some part of the content like women's ways and women's things done.
Women on the other hand would need room for sports without regard for looks, just for fun, like swimming, running, playing ball games, skiing etc. And for singing by oneself whole doing chores. Fro skill in making clothes that one likes for oneself, see in Finnish http://tunteetjatekemisentapa.blogspot.fi . Also some men's work like taking care of car and repair works with sturdy mivements and steady posture and some running steps in between.

Oh, and "Live and let orhers live!" of course solves problems iin who can affect what, see http://Finnsihskills.blogspot.fi in the beginning of the blog.